Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Today we have a question from an old friend of yours who is studying at The Jung Institute in Zurich, Switzerland. I must say that this will be quite a test of my channeling abilities because I know little or nothing about the subject he queries you on. Here is his note addressed to you, followed by his question:

Dear Jeanne, greetings from your old world friend to you in your world beyond. My question involves the psychoid nature of the archetypes, the connection between psyche and matter as often experienced through synchronicity. Although we experience synchronicity constantly, the theoretical basis for this phenomenon is not well understood. The following question that I put forth to the I Ching, I kindly ask you to answer. I am seeking to take the next step from experiencing synchronicity to understanding its theoretical basis. Many philosophers and psychologists believe that it is not possible to establish this link, but I believe that it is and ask your kind assistance. Thank you, Donald.

QUESTION: How can man use his knowledge of analytical psychology and modern physics to develop and confirm a theoretical basis for the psychoid aspect of the archetypes?

Greetings in return, My Old Friend! First you must be reminded that the mind of man is limited by what he puts into it, by his age, his propensity for accumulating data and information, and the fact that headstrongly overloaded synapses will only tolerate so much pressure. Taking the limits of the mind into consideration, I suggest that the next step is to allow for an expanded mind, a releasing of thoughts and ideas from doctrine and formulations, allowing for super consciousness to guide one. I encourage, as we take this journey today, leaving the head resting upon your pillow and allowing the body to relax as the subconscious takes a little journey. You are fully aware of the ability of the psyche to experience outside of the mind, outside of the limited conjuring mind that must, by its very nature, remain limited. In order to truly experience synchronicities, innerly and outerly, one must resort to a third place of being, out of body and out of mind.

This third place of being is synonymous with the psychoid state, though until it is truly experienced, many times over, will not be understood. Until the scientific mindset releases its hold, the third place of being will merely be an enigma, little understood, dismissed perhaps for its lack of measurable data.

I invite you, Don and my many readers, to enter this third state or place of being by releasing the thinking mind and finding the self in no place, no now, no body, no thoughts, no grounding, no familiarity, to in fact enter another world beyond the normal everyday world.

In allowing the self to release from the known, by asking the self to trust the universe (so full of synchronistic magic), one offers the self access to another world where the scientific studies of man may be resolved in an instant, simply by experiencing something that has nothing to do with connecting or linking the ideas of man with the ideas of the physical world but truly links all worlds. This involves allowing the self to trust the greater interconnectedness of all things, the facts of energy, of illusion, of matter as energy, of self as energy, of thought as energy, of the world around you as energy and merely created for the process of intellectual study leading to the discovery of all beings, and everything in that world, as energetic components of the same thing: nothing but energy.

I am sorry to keep using the same word, but to say energy is to indeed encompass all things. Now, your contention that energetically all things are connected is indeed my own truth, but such knowledge has been more fully gained as I entered my own state of energy. In life upon that earth I did explore beyond the frailness of the human body, yet did I not attain the fuller truths of all things as energy until I departed that life.

I observe that man, in his fears, limits himself to what the mind is capable of detecting, what the instruments he invents can measure, what mathematics can define and calculate as possible; man’s mind limits experience to only that which his mind is capable of. Expansion of mind is required to not only imagine the greater interconnectedness of all things, but the nothingness of all things as well, which is the energetic purity of all things.

I hope I am not being too confusing. I find that life upon that earth will remain set, defined, and unexplored if man remains bound only by what his mind is capable of connecting together. Beyond the mind lies the greater universe and it is only in experience of this greater universe, with its endlessness, its nothingness that encompasses infinity, that everything that one may achieve understanding of exists, including how synchronicities appear. I suggest that your dear mind, though it struggles to analyze and discover the connection to the phenomena of synchronicities in the universe, must allow for a greater openness to the third place of being in order to fully comprehend the meaning of the interconnectedness of all things.

In conclusion, I wish to state that all who exist upon that earth are fully capable of not only experiencing synchronicities on a daily basis, of experiencing the interconnectedness of all things, of the psychoid aspects of the archetypes as you describe it, but that all beings are fully capable of causing them as well. By energetic intent, all things are possible. By the existence of and by the trust in the existence of a third place of being, one is capable of not only experiencing the energy of infinity but of becoming the energy of infinity while remaining in body and mind upon that earth plane.

The intent of energy is constant. It is interconnected whether man is aware of it or not. It is constantly in flux, in motion, in a vibratory state of awareness. This is the truth of all things, all events, happenings, thoughts, ideas, managed by the mind or otherwise. When mankind allows experience to become his self-analytical tool his universe will more fully allow for the third place of being to become acceptable as a true measure of learning and knowledge.

My Dear Don, I commend you for your work, your exploration, your own ability to flow gently into a new world of thought as you take your new adventure in life. I invite you to leave that world a little more often, to explore the third place of being. It might just be where you need to go, as so many have gone before you, where your scientific mind might just experience things it cannot describe in theoretical terms, already laid out. It might allow for experiences of the interconnectedness of all things, indescribable and known by the facts of experience alone.

The third place of being, the great interconnected web of energy of all things, known and unknown, the world of everything and nothing, awaits!

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today a reader asks a question.

Dear Jeanne,
I feel very connected to you and your soul group (since I read The Book of Us) and, as I hope you can hear, I ask every morning, in my prayers and meditation practice, for you and your group to please come near to me and whisper things in my ear, guide me and help me to keep going on the right track, my head facing forward, into infinity………I’ll keep my real name anonymous, but call myself ” Soul Trecker” just so I recognize your response back to me.

My question is: As someone who has experienced sexual violation by father and abandonment in childhood and adolescence and then re-creates the same dynamic in every intimate relationship, am I supposed to keep trying at intimacy, or stop putting my energy there in this lifetime? I have re-experienced so much panic anxiety around intimacy and am currently trying to commit to a man who triggers physical revulsion and aversion in me to such an extent that I have anxiety attacks when I even think of having sex with him. When I have to have sex with him, I have anxiety and revulsion and feel rage. I am in EMDR therapy and have recapitulated so much trauma and worked on it for many years previous to EMDR through Core-Energetic therapy and Pathwork, but it doesn’t seem to be progressing, but rather getting worse. Am I supposed to keep pushing through this to possibly have a soul movement healing breakthrough? I feel like I’m about to have a “breakdown” with the conflictual feelings in me regarding committing to this man or not committing, having sex when I don’t feel attracted. Is this just my old trigger from childhood? There is very little humor or laughter in our relationship and we are both so literal and serious about things. Can I still continue to grow if I end this quest to find fulfillment/success in intimate relationships or would I be avoiding growth? Or is it time to pull up my pants for good in this lifetime and be celibate and just have good close friends and focus on using the energy to make a bee-line for infinity? I’m tired of it down here.

Thanks,
Soul Trecker

My Dearest One, I will call you Soul Trecker as you request. It is quite an appropriate name for one who struggles to understand what life is offering to guide. For all that you relate to me in your questions is full of signs. First you must fully accept that your journey through life, though it is full of pain and discomfort, is a teaching, learning, and evolving journey. Your life, as it is laid out, is asking that you take up the challenge of it, but you must also firmly accept that you have what it takes to fully take this journey. Your challenges are many, but I underscore that you are fully capable of meeting these challenges.

That being said, I ask that you next allow your self to fully accept your past, that you allow it to become your base, your early achievements meant to lead you on your evolutionary journey, rather than a devastating and destructive beginning. For in the challenges of your early life you have set a standard of ability that is far greater in its accomplishment than you have thus far allowed your self to accept. Do you understand what I mean by this? Your child self took on challenges that your adult self has not fully acknowledged as accomplishments in evolutionary growth. Yes, I fully understand the dire circumstances in which you began your life, but I also wish to offer you a shift in your perspective, away from the conventional outlook on such a childhood. As true as the conventional assessment may be, it is far truer, if you will allow your perspective to shift, that you took the journey of a warrior child. This is my common assessment of such an early journey, and I have made this statement before to others in such predicaments. Predicaments are predicated, prescribed, in my opinion, and those who undertake such predicaments are, more often than not, up to the challenge.

Once childhood is done with the next challenge becomes to fully recapitulate with this new perspective in mind, allowing the self to revisit and relive that childhood, challenging the self to do so in the company of that warrior child self. By taking the return journey, as both a mature adult and a warrior child, all experiences have the potential to return to their original intent, that of being lessons in evolutionary growth.

If you allow the self to acquiesce to a soul’s true journey, as you wish My Dear Soul Trecker, so must you also acquiesce to the true possibility that all of your experiences were specifically prepared so that you might have the preparation to evolve beyond earth’s evolutionary phase. Your pre-laid life plan, this time around, is perhaps your greatest challenge yet, and your early childhood and adolescence, full of pain and confusion on one level were, on another level, perfect for a soul’s evolutionary journey.

My next assessment of your situation, My Dear One, is to advise a slowing down of all pursuits to reconcile outside of the self and to turn inward with your warrior child self fully appreciated, loved, and acceptable to you. You must fully know this warrior child self for the journey taken, even though that journey was taken in unawareness. As an adult you have gained clarity, and as an adult your continuing evolutionary challenge is to utilize that clarity to continue growing, but now with awareness.

Awareness of the self as being on a journey, open to guidance, and seeking more of life is clearly your intent. Your path is wide open before you, for you possess a brightness of spirit beneath the current wave of confusion and disappointment that is unparalleled and this you must uncover and tap into. This aspect of self, your inner warrior, both child self and evolving self, awaits recognition and acceptance.

This warrior self, though remaining in slumber, has alerted you often enough to take action that is evolutionary, but your tendency, My Dear, has been to flit about like a caged bird momentarily freed because the door to the cage has unexpectedly flung open; opportunity arrives and of course you take it! You fly free for the experience of such freedom, release, and potential. But, My Dear Little Birdie, you must return to the cage after such escapades in the great wide world because the cage is your home, your safety, your comfort, as well as being the place where all your mysteries lie waiting to be discovered. You see, as much as you wish to flee, to be done with your past, your relationships, your sexual frustrations, they will not be resolved by running from them, by flying from the cage that though it captivates you does so for a reason.

Now the next questions I pose to you are: Who is your captor? Who feeds you and gives you water? Who cleans your cage and makes sure that you are contented so that you will sing pretty and appear to be happy? Who is your captor, keeping you under lock and key? And Why?

I contend that you are no different than anyone else in that you are always in control of the self, even when you don’t think you are. All beings upon that earth are in the position of self-control and though the wish is to turn to another with disgust or dismay, it is really the self who keeps one locked up, and it is equally the self who allows the caged self to fly free whether it is the right time to do so or not.

We are getting now into very sensitive and complicated areas of the human psyche and it is often difficult to accept that the self, in that human form, is an entire world. Many metaphors hold great value in describing such a world. You call yourself Soul Trecker, and that is indeed appropriate, for you are on a journey that is leading you farther than you have been ready to go before. But I am going to use the metaphor of the caged bird for you, My Dear, for it offers us the opportunity to go deeply into the you of now, into the you of this moment in time. Within your cage is a tiny mirror that you love to look into, to admire your bright eyes, your sleek and shiny feathers of brilliant color. This mirror offers you companionship as well, for that other bird in the mirror is quite fun, a delight to you in your tiny world. This mirror in your cage is the metaphor for all that attracts your attention, your relationships that mirror your innermost needs, desires, truths, and mysteries. This mirror is the key to who you are, My Dear Little Birdie. This mirror holds the answers to all your questions.

Next, I am going to ask you to place yourself inside your little cage, to take it all in, to look at what you have provided for the self in order to create a working world. You have your perch of contemplation, your mirror of reflection, your bowl of nourishment, your nectar, your seed, your toys, your swings. You have your bars to cling to, your pretty beak to peck, bite, and gnaw with, etc. You have your gripping claws to perch and cling with. Your world is quite complete. You also have your wings, which you have tried many times. Now you must go deeper and ask the self why you must return to your cage over and over again. What is in there that is, as yet, undiscovered, hidden, unknown? For though you may think you know every inch of that cage and the caged self, so is there something you have been missing.

And now, I hazard a guess that this has to do with your warrior child self who you have not noticed in the cage with you. Look around and you will see that another bird has been sharing your cage all these years, and yet have you failed to notice. This bird self, this warrior bird, is the one who allows you to escape, knowing full well that you will return, for this is the inner self who knows all, but who has also been waiting for recognition.

This is the self who is leading you in every choice you make, leading you on your Soul Trecker journey, leading you always back to the true self, connected to all things. This self is inside you, but everything in your outer world, including your relationship that you speak so honestly about, is leading you back to rediscover this self. This is the beginning self, the soul self, the spiritually evolving self who asks that you reconcile your inner dilemmas without blame, without judgments, without self-hatred, and that you detach from outer blame, outer judgments, and outer hatred as well. For only in taking full responsibility for your life, your choices, and for this moment in your life will you be able to resolve the issues you pose in your questions.

I propose that your current relationship is not about your partner, but yes, as you suggest, it is about your child self and it is also about your adult self being triggered to return to that child self, not to rescue and open the cage, but to reenter the cage, look into the mirror, and recognize and accept the journey of the warrior child. That journey has set you on your course for this lifetime. You have followed your course well, made choices in your life that have continually led you along a path of growth, but a lot of your decisions have been made in the half-light of awareness, knowing that yes, you are on a journey, but not quite clear as to why or where you are going.

Now My Dear Little Birdie, it is time to return to the inner cage, taking with you all your sorrows, your feelings of revulsion and aversion that you speak of in your sexual encounters with your partner, and ask your warrior child self, that other beautiful caged self, to peck through and show you what you need to know. Your beaks are sharp, your tiny bird feet strong and sharp as well, good tools for digging even deeper. Though I know you are quite adept, intelligent, and capable of completing this life you have assigned your self, you are the only one who can master it. You will master it, not by pulling up your pants and skipping over your truths, but by discovering why you must confront the issues that repeatedly appear to repulse you. These are your challenges leading you deeper into the self, into the cage where resolution awaits your direct attention.

In outer distraction will you wallow in despair, My Dear One. In outer turning will your journey be incomplete. My Dear Soul Trecker, My Little Birdie, only in turning inward, in flying back into the cage, shutting the door, and fully living the caged life will you find what it is that will set you free. Yes, you have wings, but they will not take you far, but always turn you back to the cage at the end of the day, for that is where you must remain until your truths are fully revealed, until your inner work is complete, until the mirror is fully explored, and the doors of the inner world freely opened, with the warrior child self leading the way with the adult self as equal partner.

Of course, the biggest challenge to you, the adult, is to trust that this is so, to guide the self back to the wounded child self and begin to accept that wounded self as transforming, working hand in hand to evolve that self simultaneously with the adult self, so that wounds may heal, strengths may assert and reassert themselves, and the mysteries of the human journey may be revealed as truths of the evolutionary journey of the soul.

Your journey is largely solitary, My Dear Soul Trecker, yet must you live with others who are your earthly guides and teachers, looking to them as much as you look to me and the other spirit guides who are available to you. This is a truth that may aid you now, as you take your next step away from your perceptions of your partner as despicable. Look upon this partner as one of your greatest guides, with fondness, for you are being shown the path you must take, and that path, though it may lead in a new direction of relationship, is ultimately meant to lead you back into the cage, back to the inner work, for there is still much to do.

I hope I have answered your questions. I will end by saying that you are on an amazing journey because your awareness of the self as an evolving being is well awakened and you possess many advanced qualities. Yet must you return, I am afraid, to a well-worn path, for you have not completed your recapitulation of that path. But keep in mind that you go back this time for a specific reason, to go deeper, with a new appreciation and a new understanding of the self as a warrior.

You have always been a warrior. This is not an ego statement, but the underlying truth and that is what you must face. Then you must use this knowledge properly, to fully excavate the self, learning self-love, self-compassion, and self-trust. For only in achieving these three attributes will you be able to move out of the cage, your ego dismantled, your wounded child clearly understood, your cage fully comprehended as both necessary and proper, and your wings fully functional, with your inner brightness freed to guide you out of the cage forever.

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today, another reader asks a question.

Dear Jan/Jeanne,
I have had many very human experiences in the last year. They range from the desire to live a life of fulfillment, which led me to speak my truth for the first time in my marriage and begin the process of detaching from that relationship, to throwing myself into my business and home, to supporting a friend as she released her human life. Life and death, and all else in between, have been with me this year. Intellectually, I understand that this is the continuum; life, death, rebirth. Even before I could explain that, I knew I had been here before and so this always made sense to me. What I want to understand is how do I hold that knowledge, honor that knowledge, in the midst of all the human experiences that I am here to partake in? How do I honor my exquisite energy while my human body craves connection and pulls me into pathways of comfort? How do I walk away from a life that holds so much wonder and pain into a life that is better for my eternal soul? Intuitively, I also know that whatever I do will benefit my soul, and it may speed up or slow down the process. There seems to be this idea that only the soul should matter, but what of the body and its needs? What of the mind and its awareness? I feel as though I will miss things if I only focus on the needs of my soul. I want to enjoy my life in all its glorious expressions, on all levels of my eternal self, mind, body, and spirit. How do I embrace all of these?

Anonymous

My Dearest One, you address the struggles of all humans, who are aware of their spiritual and eternal selves, to maintain balance and yet continue to grow. Is it not possible to do all that you so eagerly desire? Is it not possible to be so human and so spiritually aware simultaneously? I contend that it is. However, there is a process of forgiveness that must be undertaken in order to achieve this balance. This forgiveness I speak of is not the forgiveness that you might equate with actions taken and regretted. The forgiveness I speak of is self-forgiveness; so that you may fully embrace the journey you are on and allow the self to really be as free and embracing of all aspects of the self that you so desire.

Forgiveness of self is a process of learning to detach from the structures of life imposed by society and the inner self who remains caught in old places. This inner self who confronts the “pathways of comfort,” as you call them, is the self who must release its energy and allow for growth.

Who is this inner self inside you, personally, My Dear One? This is the self who must be addressed, embraced, fully pondered, and become known, so that a new comfort in fully trusting the self may take over and allow for full expression in life. Is this self a frightened and reluctant child, or a taciturn baby? Is it a demanding inner self who, in spite of all that life presents, continually refuses to give up the old comforts, though it sees clearly the life and energy that is available if it does so? Are you caught in several areas of old comfort, many strands of reluctance and fear? This is not an uncommon place to be.

The adult self is the facilitator of this self-forgiveness that I speak of, the intelligent and mature adult self who does, in fact, gravitate toward as much enjoyment of life as it does gravitate toward the enjoyments of the spiritual aspects of life. The rituals of the inner process, the old comforts, are as binding and fulfilling as the rituals undertaken on a spiritual path. So you see, My Dear One, if you are struggling to release the self, you are going to have to confront the deeply embedded rituals in your life. These rituals may range from the simplest and most apparent, such as the process of waking up and having tea or coffee, to the ritual of standing still in the middle of your busy day to take a breath and connect with the inner you, asking the outer you to slow down a minute and breathe in new energy.

Rituals bind us all to habits that may be good or bad for us, comfortable or uncomfortable, desired or undesirable, fulfilling or unfulfilling, beneficial or damaging. But also keep in mind that no matter what the consequences of our habits in life are, they are giving us the experiences we need, showing us things about ourselves that we must learn, though it may take us a long time to notice that we are, indeed, living a ritualistic life, rather than an evolutionary one.

This, My Dear, is what you are confronting in the self as you experience change, new life, death, energy, and the needs of the human self to excel and experience the grandeur of the world you live in, along with the deeply emotional aspects of life. You may begin to notice that much of your life has been reduced to ritual, to habit, to pathways of comfort that do not necessarily lead to growth. These are the areas of life that must change in order for evolution to supercede ritual, for detachment and self-forgiveness to take place, and for a greater balance to be experienced. To actualize this eagerness for a fully lived life in all aspects of self, as you so desire, I do contend that change must happen.

You are well on the way to making changes in your life, My Dear One, and these changes are good examples of connecting with the inner truth of the spirit. If your true spirit is suppressed your true energy for life is also suppressed. If your rituals take over your life, your spirit will remain bound in the repetition of those rituals, unable to free itself from the wheels of life turning endlessly in the same direction. When your spirit comes knocking and throwing wrenches into your wheels, it is time to stop everything and look at how your wheels have been spinning. Have your wheels been free-flying, spinning out of control without stopping, because you fear that if you stop there will be nothing there at all, or perhaps only the skeletal remains of once beautiful wheels of comfort? Are you afraid that you may miss out or be too late for something if you do not keep your wheels spinning at the current pace?

In order to enact change, the wheels must stop. The rituals must be dismantled and examined for truth of need. The ego self must relinquish its desires to the true desires of the inner spirit self, the mature spirit self who, though firmly in adult reality, is also openly trusting of the innocent side of itself as well. It is in combination of true ego self and true spirit self that forgiveness, detachment, and fulfillment of life will happen.

New rituals may seek to inhabit the spaces left by old habits as they are dismantled. In order for true growth to happen these spaces must become spirit-filled energy spaces. As old habits are left behind a period of loneliness and emptiness may ensue, until the ego relinquishes its hold on the desire to replace one ritual with another and instead allows the inner spirit to take over. The balance that you seek, and that every spirit seeks, is awareness of self in constant flux, able to flow through life, fully participating, fully aware, fully alive, fully enjoying and living freely. I do not want to discourage anyone from living and enjoying life, yet do I also not want to stifle the inner spirit’s quest for life as well. How do you give ego self and spirit self equal time and space? How do they sit side by side so that the wheels of ritual and habit turn into wheels of energy? This is the work that must continually be undertaken:

1. Question the validity of the rituals. Are they necessary and truly fulfilling?

2. Stop spinning your wheels and take a look at what they are made of. Perhaps they are not what you thought they were, for they were picked up for usage such a long time ago.

3. Confront the self regarding the changes already enacted and the experiences already granted.

4. Determine, with knowing spirit self and knowing adult ego self, which changes are beneficial and resonant with both and which changes are not even close to fulfillment.

5. Walk in the direction that the signs, the truths, and the experiences in life are pointing you in and follow this new path.

6. The point of self-forgiveness now comes to greet you, as the next step must be detachment from that which no longer nurtures either the spirit self or the ego self. This will be very clear, though it will also be very difficult to process. It will entail the aspects of self that are not only reluctant, but truly afraid. Self-forgiveness is the act of the balanced self giving permission to move on with the changes that may be so painfully proposed and shown. To grant the self permission to move on is the point when the old wheels will be fully seen as no longer adequate.

7. The next step is to hold onto awareness of self in transition, without pulling toward the self new rituals, new wheels, or new comforts. This is a time of tension. To maintain the stability of the self in this time of emptiness is the challenge, for only in holding at bay the old voices and keeping out the old stuff, that will come asking for re-entry, will you be able to fully embrace and enact change. This time of tension-bearing will be a great challenge.

8. This will require learning what it means to truly detach from the world as you know it and turn toward the possibility of a new world, though it may not yet be in sight. This step into the void will be the most difficult, for it will involve learning to trust the inner guidance that may, at times, appear to offer strange or unusual advice. This time of trust, however, will lead to the next step in evolutionary growth, which will be:

9. The acceptance of the self as individual, as wholly self-contained, self-aware, self-sufficient, and trustworthy. This acceptance of self will lead to a new energy. As the old powerhouses of energy no longer function, as emptiness occurs, as the old is no longer invited in to contaminate the self with useless rituals and comforts, a new energy will begin to seep in. This is the energy of spirit in balance with ego and as this energy enters the heart, the mind, the very bloodstream of the body, you will discover that you are different. This moment of awareness of self as different, as changed, as acting now from a new post of command will lead to the ultimate goal and that is:

10. Fulfillment of self in new awareness, innerly connected, outerly connected, energetically connected, and available to truly embrace the life that you are so eager to live.

My Dear One, I see your struggles to embrace the wholeness of self, yet must I caution that to do so too quickly will result in disaster, for only in truly allowing all aspects of self to be present and ready to take the journey will true fulfillment be reached. If even one tiny aspect of the self is not ready to participate there will be difficulty in achieving the proper energy to fully live, as you so desire.

I know this process of balance takes work; it takes slowing down; it takes inner trust, and it takes ego-busting, to a great extent. It takes confronting the sadnesses in life, and the emptiness and loneliness of taking a journey alone for as long as it takes to connect with the true self and truth of the self. But each step of the process of gaining balance is filled with gifts of insight, experience, and energy.

This is quite a subject and quite a question! It is quite a quest, I might add; the quest for fulfillment, for life, for growth, and for completion. I advise, with a final punctuation, that those of you who are so eager to fully embrace life, as this reader is, offer your selves the gift of self-forgiveness, for this is truly at the root of all change and all evolution. For without being able to let go of the old self there will be no ability to find and allow a new self to become real. And this is what you seek, the real self.

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today, Jeanne answers a question asked by a Reader. When this question came in last week Chuck was in the midst of working on this week’s essay for Chuck’s Place, Healing or Possession? We had also decided to do another audio session with Jeanne based on the second chapter of Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, titled, On Marriage. We hope you will enjoy the combined insights of these three works, today’s message, the audio message, and Chuck’s essay, all based on similar subjects of relationship and inner work.

Dear Jeanne,
For years I have been striving, as I am sure are many others, to re-parent my hurt inner little girl. I have been led to and stayed in many an unhealthy relationship trying, of course unsuccessfully and inappropriately, to get her needs met. Lately, I have been struggling in my present intimate relationship not to pull on my partner to meet my hurt inner child’s needs. I have difficulty discerning whether my hurt child is leading or if I am with a partner who obstructs my child’s healing, as my partner and I are in such constant conflict and defense with each other. I would appreciate any clarity or guidance you can offer.

Blessings,
NS

My Dear One, I must say that your dilemma is a common one, but first must you conclude that children do not belong in an adult relationship, at least not unhealthy children. By that, I mean that in order to be a consolidated adult so must you work on your child self outside of a relationship. A lost child self will remain not only lost but also confused if brought into an adult situation that requires maturity, openness, trust, and honesty. First your child self must trust you, the adult self, and allow you, the adult, to engage in relationships in the adult world you live in. The question of the inner child is both complicated and broad in scope, with so many aspects to consider, that I may not cover in one session, but here we go:

Most important is your resolution of your child self, independent of any type of relationship, whether lover, partner, children, business, or outer world interactions. Your inner child must relate to you, the adult, as mature and enabled. Your inner child is not meant to come along with you on your journey through life, but is meant to fully merge with you, and these are two different things. If you simply bring her along, then are you burdened with her, but if you resolve your inner issues stemming from her earliest experiences, enticing her to accept them as her journey, fully realized for its truth and meaning, then may she accept her place in your past and recede in your present life. For only in fully accepting her place in your life can she allow you to proceed, fully knowing that you are not deserting her, but only that you have fully accepted her as well, and your journey is now merged as one contiguous journey, rather than two that will continue to do battle until resolved.

Your question also encompasses relationships. In my understanding of a true relationship, so do I invite you to consider your adult self separately from your child self. If your adult self is ready to embark on a deeply trusting relationship with a partner who is also ready for such compatible travel, so must you understand that trust, openness, and honesty must also be at the basis of this relationship. Your inner little girl or boy must be comfortably and safely asleep, merged in full recapitulation and acceptance, for a truthful relationship to ensue, with innocence and trust of each other, at its core. To fully trust your partner, must you have had the greater experience of fully trusting the self. You see?

In order to engage in an adult relationship, that will be more than just a struggle, must you and your partner be allowed to have access to each other’s innocence, and fully allow your own innocence to participate. By innocence, I do not mean your hurt, wounded, or unresolved inner child. I mean your fully merged and resolved child, your energetically present child who is contented to live life with you, present, trusting, and available when appropriate.

I fear that many people do not fully understand who their inner child self is. Is she or he someone you left in the past, confused, dazed, and unclear as to her or his role then, and equally confused as to her or his role now? A confused child is a heavy burden to carry through life, for that child does not understand the journey being taken. If you have not been truthful and perfectly honest with your inner child self, so will there be no resolution of conflict in your outer life, for that inner child will appear quite often, in order to remind you that you have not been honest, and you have not taken care to reveal the truth of the world as you now know it.

Many people prefer to placate the inner child. This can take many forms, such as buying it nice things, feeding it and serving it whatever it asks for, giving it unconditionally for what you consider its earliest lacks of attention and promise. Yet is this the wrong method of attention. Such attention will merely attach that child self more firmly to an old idea that cannot work in an evolving premise. In order to evolve must truth and honesty be, first and foremost, a part of your interactions. The first truth is that all must grow up, mature, and move into adulthood. Some people do this very well, but yes, they often leave their child self behind. The first truth in returning to the child self is to reconnect in a new way, as the adult who fully accepts the truth of the child’s existence, knowing, above all else, that every encounter in early life was necessary for growth of spirit.

In order to fully merge with this child self, I suggest a very deep process of confrontation as the child emerges in the process of your everyday life. Is this child self, who is present in your life, carrying old ideas of the self based on old roles, old rules, old critics, and old patterns of soothing? As the adult, must you not only parent, but you must be an evolutionary parent who is capable of swiping aside all the old ideas of the self, bringing in a new perspective. You are not on a rescue mission. You are not on a mission of placation, or tending to the needs of a big baby. You are on an evolutionary mission of truth and acceptance, based on new rules, new truths of life, to guide the self through these times of difficulty.

Once one is accepting of life as a journey and views all aspects of life, past, present, and future, in the context of life as a journey of necessity and growth, so then is one ready and available to accept the truths that one holds so deeply inside. The child self holds many truths too, in spite of the many untruths that keep it in a state of frozen regret. A child self holds the keys to innocence, to spirit connection, and to your adult self, in truthful and honest living, as well. Once your child self is allowed release from the past, so is your adult self free to move forward, unburdened too.

In case of archaic possession, it is up to the mature adult self to find meaning and explanation for such possession. I contend that there is possession of one kind or another involved in most people’s lives, until confronted, recapitulated through investigation and questioning, and until finally released through acceptance, with truth and maturity as the basis for life. Only in acceptance of self as a journeyer taking a journey of self-discovery in order to grow beyond the old methods of doing life, repeating the same mistakes and habits, will evolution be achieved.

You see, you must be able to allow the hurt inner child to scream aloud or sit and pout in archaic possession if that is what that aspect of child self elects to do. But know that there is another aspect of child self, innocence, that is not interested in such possession, but instead desires release into life as a trusty companion, offering the balance that your hard working mature adult self needs, in order to fully live.

I speak, most certainly, of your process as a maturing adult, fully capable and reliable. Your process is individual and must be acknowledged and dealt with on an individual level. Your journey, although intertwined with the journeys of others, must not be confused with or by the journey of another. Your ability to detach the self from the relationship must continually be explored in order for partnership and relationship to prosper. Who are you separate from your relationships? Each of you in a relationship (parent/child, lover/lover, employer/employee, etc.) must determine your own issues, even as you may see them mirrored in your partners, or triggered by your partners, or foreshadowed by your partners. These are the signs and triggers inviting you to absolve each other of the difficulties of the inner self. These are the moments of retreat and self-investigation, of ownership of your inner dilemmas, and confrontations with the truths of the self.

It is a difficult process. First must one confront the truths of the self, for only then will one be in a position to determine if the partner and relationship meet the needs of the true self, or if they hold the self caught in old places of inner struggle.

If evolution of self is your truthful quest in this lifetime, then that must be present in every aspect of your life. Only in being truthful with the self can you be truthful with others. For if you cannot accept who you are, then who can? Only in self resolution, and learning to love the self for the journey taken, will you achieve love of others for the journeys they also have taken and must take. Often are our journeys interwoven so that we may learn something important about the self, and this is true for both partners. Maturity is required in order for partner growth and partner acceptance to become part of a continued journey, with the mature adults leading the process, for only with such evolutionary guidance will progress be made.

I hope I have offered some new ideas for your adult self to work with, My Dear. May your child self be allowed out of the closet, and may her innocence be acceptable to you. For that is what you, as the adult, are looking for. It is what she is hoping you will find acceptable, and it is what must be released for a new kind of merger to happen, so that you may proceed fully balanced, with truth and love of self at your core.